I was just kidding about contacting me.

Now now. I'm sure your devistation is gut-wrenching, isn't it. So, if you'd allow me to string you along a bit, I will tell you that you can contact me, I was just kidding about kidding.

You see? I'm not that bad a guy.

I'll tell you this though, I won't make this easy on you with one of those fancy contact forms. Instead you're getting a lowsy email link. How's that for customer service?