My wife wanted to throw a holiday party and needed some help with the invite text. I tried to encourage her to pen something herself, something sweet and genuine. She was at a block tho... So I took a step into FPL (fantasy party land), and dreamt up the ultimate party. From there is was as simple as putting pen to paper...
Come eat your weight in fudge. Then work it all off in an American Gladiator style competition where the last one to puke wins. Leave your, sometimes annoying and usually sick, kids at home. We gonna tear the roof off this sucka, Motherfuton.
(We are not responsible for injuries sustained during said American Gladiator style competition. If you don't know how to joust, drop balls into a garbage can or run an obstacle course than you're a sissy and are uninvited to this party. Also, my neighbor Fred will be playing the role of Nitro, and let me tell you, he will rock your world.)
Hope to see you there!