Ah, the Midwest. What's so west about it anyways? I mean, two states away from the east coast is now considered Midwest? Middle of the west? I think not, oh founding fathers, or namers of regional areas in the United States of 'Merica. I think a more appropriate name would be, Fenceless Deception. Let me break that down:
Fenceless - Where the futon are all the fences? Yards run amuck, one blending into another. Clearly there is no thought given to the delimma that will surely arise when one is mowing their lawn, and is not quite sure where to stop. I don't know about you, but I ain't down with other peeps using their inferior lawn mowers on my precious blue grass/fescue mix. Or the ever occuring case of topless tanning in the privacy of ones backyard. Guess the Midwesterners are down with tan lines...
Deception - Sure, it looks sunny and nice outside, but one foot out the door and your testicles are taking cover, looking for whatever body warmth they can find... that's deception my friends. If the devil were ever deceiving, it would be in the form of sunny and 20 degrees out.
So, now that I'm back from Fenceless Deception, I must say that my trip was grand. I caught up with old friends, made some new ones, and helped that Madhouse pull in 12 Addys.
Wait till I tell you about the psycho working at Diary Queen.
Steve Mock says,
Speakin' of bluegrass... we're one state up from Kentucky, but we gets called northerners all the time.
'Course I can spit to Michigan from here.
Posted @ March 1, 2006rob says,
I think "Midwest" might be referring to the not too distant future.
Let's face it. At the rate that we are burning fossil fuel, I think everything west of Missouri will soon be underwater. People are going to be buying beach-front property in Des Moines.
Regarding fences; we prefer to share. Oh yeah..."Enjoy your Blizzard" (said with a devilish—I just spit in your ice cream—tone).
Posted @ March 1, 2006sancho says,
You clearly know that no one really wants in when you find a place with no fences. Just think of all the fences I had to climb to get across the boarder, the fence that circles Disneyland, the fence around the back of Round Table, the walls and gates around my neighborhood, Folsom State Prison....Illinois, Michigan, Ohio...my point exactly. Oh and Noah...you don't have to worry about tan lines when you are all pastie white.
Posted @ March 2, 2006ysbl says,
i know all about that deception bit.
here in minneapolis, the colder it gets, the sunnier it gets. The clouds all migrate south when it gets really cold. So on days when its like -25 F here, it looks like its oh right around 75. Until you step out side and you call down curses on your self for ever living in this cursed state. You begin to question your sanity.
You know its bad when anything above 0 starts looking really nice and you think to yourself, "hmm, maybe I can get by with only one winter jacket today..."
Posted @ March 3, 2006