sancho says,

I'm confussed with the "SOMETHING" part. Any help here?

Noah says,

Ah sancho, a good question indeed. For you, I would say, maybe go pick some strawberries, or perhaps another low wage paying form of work that no 'white' folks want to do...

Red Canary says,

http://how-to-plans.com/futon_sofa_bed_plans.html

Johnny Utah says,

What the Futon? What happened to the "puff, puff" blog, it was one of my fav's. Step number 8 on my list to a better life is to read the puff puff blog once more.

Noah says,

There you go Utah. BTW, are you an F.B.I. agent?

Johnny Utah says,

In another life, yes. Now I get paid to surf. "Vaya con Dios brah." By the way, love the blogs bro, Shiloh hooked me up a long time ago and I have become a futon faithful.

Noah says,

Good to have you here Utah.

Niko says,

Excellent link RC.

Johnny Ute, do you surf at night?

Sancho, I would suggest joining your local vente-cuatro hora fitnesso (24-hour fitness in English)and get started on SHOCKING your muscles. They have some great machines. Then, you could drink a smoothie with 'protein' in it. Then, you could stretch yourself on a giant medicine ball. Then, you could weight in and log the results. Then, you could go hang out in the stanky locker room and take WAY too long to get changed cuz you are busy chattin it up with the other 'bro's' and watching the sports high-lights on the tv that is blastin ESPN up above. Then, go back to step 1 and repeat until you are HUGE. Then, buy and wear t-shirts that are 2 sizes too small and carry your own personal water bottle around the gym during work-outs. Then, get a fake tan and a convertable. Then, realize that was a lot of work just to look like a fake tan, ripped, gym dork and go back to your slothful dos-equis drinkin ways and earn back that pot-belly the old fashioned way. Then, come back to this website for more instruction.

If anyone wants me to sign their copy of this novel, print it out and bring to your local 7/11 where i will be making an appearance this Sat. I will be working behind the counter. I go by Apu.

Noah says,

Apu, is that you? You are the king of SHOCKING the system. Maybe you should go run a MILLION MILES after you get off at the 7/11.

sancho says,

I tried "Shocking" the system once, a friend in Danville recommended it. It started with a colonic and then a trip to the Bench Press. I was never the same. I will just stick to Noah's suggestion of the Strawberries. I seem to have natural ability at that.

Noah says,

It's your destiny. Don't deny it Sancho.

smokingbaby says,

Yeah, I'd avoid the 'shocking' at all costs sancho. One time, one of my friends ordered a belt from TV that supposedly shocked your ab muscles into a six pack. My friend thought that was a great idea until he ended up with a whole lot of pain and a whole lot of zero progress in the six-pack department. Did I mention that this was my friend, and not me, that did this? Because I'm smarter than that.

Noah says,

smokingbaby - you bought one of those too?

Niko says,

Jr. Nicotine,

I too purchased an ab-machine. The thing was insane. Did stomach and arms. My goal was to get huge while reading.. only.. it wasn't that comfortable.. and i couldnt' read very well while having major muscle convulsions every 2 seconds. The best part was a skinny girl tried them on her arms and she had trouble pinpointing the exact muscles.. so one are was involuntarily flexing like a bicept curl and the other was flexing like a tricept push down. it was hilarious. i think i found that gift in an airplane magazine. still a little bummed my wife made me return it.

smokingbaby says,

I'd like to see one of those belts on a cat. And not for fitness reasons.

niko says,

yes, the cats react well. jump very high. but what would be really interesting is strapping one on somebody who rides a scooter. scooter riders are funny enough as it is - with a little SHOCK therapy i might have to pull over and just laugh out loud (LOL) at them.