So the lovely folks of the Waste Management company came through the other day, in their big trucks, with their big mechanical arms, (that I'm sure have been the cause of several down and out fist fights in the cab over whose turn it is to control the arm), that comes down and picks up your trash can, raises it up over the truck, and take away all your smelly diapers.
As I'm putting away the cans I can't help but notice the missing lid on my green waste can. (Don't get me going on the color schemes, I throw EVERY thing, in EVERY can) I think my response to this discovery was something along the lines of "Mother Futon", I can't quite remember... and now that I think about it, it isn't even relevent. I just like typing it. Mother. Futon. As I was saying, I was a bit peeved that I was without a green lid. I went back inside to snort another line of cocaine, when I got to thinking, I was the last one to bring my cans in off the street tonight. I wonder if that reject of a can is really mine...
The cans have no identifying marks, like addresses or anything, but I did recall that my specific green can had a hole in the bottom left corner. So I grab a flashlight, head back out, and peak into my can. No hole. Some sneaker pulled a switch on me. I haven't decided who the guilty party is and exactly what form of childish revenge I should invoke on them (above and beyond referring to them as 'Sneak' or 'Sneaker', of course), but I do have my suspicions about that jerk face neighbor of mine...
Hicksville says,
When we lived up in the mountains, all of us neighbors had to cart our cans (we had three colors--brown, green, and blue) a mile down the road to a central hub. Here we got out mail, picked up our newspapers, and placed our cans. Musical cans was the name of the game (the trick was to be the first to leave the full cans and the first to pick up the empties). Newspapers and trash cans were quite a commoditiy and nasty notes always lined the community board:
"Whoever has the trash can marked such and such, please leave it at the next trash day and I will leave your sorry ass can for you to pick up as well."
"Whoever keeps taking my newspaper, please get your own subscription or at least be kind enough to stop by with a six pack and give me a summary of the news."
"To whomever has my trash can AND my newspaper, you'd better watch you back or you may find yourself in MY trash can with MY newspaper."
Posted @ June 6, 2005Concerned Futon says,
Futon, I know that the trash can situation has got to you, but thats no reason to pick back up your nasty coc habit! Come on man, get back on the wagon. Or off the wagen. Or whatever.
Anyways you definately need to switch back with the sneaker. Late at night. With some kind of note like... next time it will be your head thats missing a lid.
Posted @ June 6, 2005Noah says,
Looks like I am not alone. Sneakers are out there people. Watch out.
Concerned Futon - LIMH about some sneaks head missing a lid.
Posted @ June 6, 2005aparatus says,
I am thinking it wasn't Sneaker.. rather.. Swiper. He isn't mean, he only swipes.. and swipes well. Check Dora the Explorer for more info on Swiper. BTW, all of my cans have a reference number on them.. methinks for this very reason..
Around the corner,
Posted @ June 6, 2005Aparatus
aparatus says,
As I was saying..
For more info about Swiper.. see book link below..
http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product/?item_no=47731&p=1013824
And.. does this look like your jerk-nose neighbor?
http://shop.nickjr.com/product/index.jsp?productId=1079624
Posted @ June 6, 2005