So I usually keep my ideas for the MOAF (Mother of all Futons), on my onlyhandyforliketwothings Treo650 which I was lucky enough to get for a steal of a price. I use the Memo Pad to jot down ideas as I halucinate on shrooms, or for when life just throws me little golden epiphanies. <- (That's a dollar word right there) So the other day, I read off, to my lovely wife, some of my yet unrealized, unequaled, unfunny, un-futon'd ideas. The list contains about 20 or so of only the greatest ideas you have never seen blogged about before. (Any and all of which are for sale for either me to ghost write for you, or for you to try to write something funny yourself on your own blog.) I am reading on, my wife is enthralled with my absolute wisdom, wit and creativ-i-ty-ness-ss. It progressed something like this:
MF: If McD's chicken nuggets are all white meat now, what kind of meat was I getting before?
Wife: Yawn.
MF: How to make yourself seem cooler than you really are.
Wife: Could you pass me the nail file?
MF: 17 Cool Uses for Ajax.
Wife: That's so last month.
MF: The Banshee.
(Wife immediately perks up)
Wife: The retarded african dog?!?
MF: Excuse me?
Wife: Banshee? No Biff!
MF: Biff?
Wife: Yes, Biff the retarded african dog!
MF: Biff, the retarded african dog?
Wife: Yes! (Read: Idiot) His back legs ran faster than his front. He could only go a few yards before completely eating dirt!
MF: Oh, I had better write this down.
hink says,
I can only hope that the eventual gem extracted from this metamorphic theme has something to do with a set of those doggy wheels.
You know what doggy wheels I mean.
I am not even sure if I am allowed to laugh at this, but I am; On any given day, I love dogs a whole lot more than people.
Posted @ June 15, 2005YSBL says,
My neighbor used to have a 3 legged dog. Man you wouldn't think that thing was fast but that thing could boogie. I used to ride my bike past their place when I was a kid and he'd chase me. That thing foamed at the mouth.
Finally I got smart and before I left I picked up 4 or 5 golfball sized rocks to chuck at it if it chased me.
Posted @ June 16, 2005Noah says,
YSBL - Was the dog's name 'Lucky' ?
Posted @ June 16, 2005Arturo Sanchez says,
I once had a rabbit growing up named Snowball...he just sat there and ate pellets and carrots...he died from the heat before we crossed the river. Maybe I should have named him Fireball or Turlock, he may have tolerated the heat better...I miss him.
Posted @ June 16, 2005YSBL says,
I think his name was "Dumbass" because that's always what the neighbors called him.
Posted @ June 16, 2005